While We’re Fantasizing About Firing 1 Million People, I’d Like A Unicorn that Poops Ice Cream and Farts Rainbows

Posted: October 9, 2013 in bat-s**t-crazy
Tags: , , , , ,

That was a pretty crazy subject line, wasn’t it? Well, World Net Daily’s latest column by Robert Ringer is entitled, “Let’s Make Shutdown Permanent.”

If you actually read his diatribe (I did, I’m sorry to say … but I was eating dinner and listening to Judge Judy while doing it), it’s a lengthy mess. Assuming it’s genuine and not some crazy parody I didn’t pick up on, this guy is a nut.

He is seriously advocating firing all ~800,000 federal employees and contractors that the current shutdown has furloughed. All of them. Let’s just think of the practicality of firing nearly 1 million people and what that would do the economy.

In his column, Ringer talks about permanently shutting the Environmental Protection Agency (a frequent whipping boy for conservatives). He also talks about selling off the Postal Service (under the false assumption that it is financed by the government, which it is not). But of course, he wants to keep Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid (the guy looks somewhat old in his picture, so that’s understandable).

He also wants to keep the military, though maybe he doesn’t realize that around half of the ~800,000 that were furloughed were contractors or employees of the military. Or maybe he does, he just wants to get rid of everyone who doesn’t fight: “Don’t you love congressmen who argue that this or that military base should remain open because closing it would result in civilian employees being laid off? That’s right, you’ve got to keep those military bases open – not to protect the country, but to provide incomes for their civilian employees.”

Maybe he doesn’t like to drive on roads. Maybe he doesn’t like national parks. Maybe he doesn’t like pilots to be able to take off and land safely. I’m sure he doesn’t like the National Institutes of Health whose research over the past several decades have allowed an old guy like him to enjoy the healthy life he does. I’m sure he hates food inspectors who are generally very successful at keeping our food supply safe. Of course he hates the court system and legal system that keep murderers (often) behind bars.

Or maybe he’s just one of those anarchists or sovereign citizens people who wants to go back to tribalism where there’s no such thing as a government.

Whatever it is, while we’re going on about our own fantasies, I’d also like a magical unicorn that grants wishes. And poops out ice cream of whatever flavor I feel like (zero-calorie, of course), and farts rainbows that I can fly on. I think that’s more likely to happen than firing a million people and destroying every federal agency (except the military and the ones that give him money! (though I don’t know where they’re going to get the money if there’s no IRS to enforce taxes)).

  1. Roz says:

    To me, he comes off as a nut. Someone who likes the concept of the words coming out of his mouth but didn’t actually think about what they mean. Perhaps he need to actually talk to one of these ~800,000 people gain a bit of perspective.

    And here you go. Haven’t found a CC version of the ice-cream – you may just have to wish harder.
    hearts, stars and rainbows

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