This news made me smile because I knew that World Net Daily commenters were going to have a hissy fit: 379 different corporations that do business within America filed a friend-of-the-court brief with the US Supreme Court (SCOTUS) stating that the bans on marriage equality should be voided as unconstitutional. WND reported it in a 3-paragraph snippet from Huffington Post entitled, “379 Companies Urge Supremes to Support ‘Gay Marriage.'” I can guarantee you that the “Gay Marriage” in scary quotes was not in the original. Actually, they reworded the original title, which was “Here Are The 379 Companies Urging The Supreme Court To Support Same-Sex Marriage.”

Just for fun, let’s list them:

  • A.L. Nella & Company, LLP, CPAs
  • A.T. Kearney
  • Aardema Whitelaw, PLLC
  • Acacia Home LLC
  • Accenture
  • Aetna Inc.
  • Air Products and Chemicals, Inc.
  • AJ Leo Electric and Solar
  • Akamai Technologies, Inc.
  • Alaska Airlines
  • Alcoa Inc.
  • Amazon Services Inc.
  • Amazon.com, Inc.
  • American Airlines Group Inc.
  • American Apparel
  • American Express Company
  • American International Group, Inc.
  • Aparicio-Mercado Law, L.C.
  • Apple Inc.
  • AppNexus Inc.
  • Aramark
  • Arbor Brewing Company, LLC
  • Arnold & Porter LLP
  • Aspen Skiing Company
  • Assemble Sound LLC
  • AT&T Inc.
  • Atlas Cut Stone
  • Atticus Circle
  • The Austin Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce
  • Avanade Inc.
  • Bain & Company, Inc.
  • Bakehouse Art Complex
  • Baker & McKenzie LLP
  • Bank of America
  • The Bank of New York Mellon Corporation
  • Barclays
  • Barnes & Noble, Inc.
  • bebe stores, inc.
  • Becton, Dickinson and Company
  • Belcampo Inc.
  • Ben & Jerry’s
  • Big Duck Studio, Inc.
  • Bigelow Villa LLC
  • Billy’s Farm
  • BlackRock, Inc.
  • Bloomberg L.P.
  • Blue Apron, Inc.
  • Blue Heron Ventures
  • Blue Moon Hotel / Winter Haven Hotel
  • Blume, Faulkner & Skeen, PLLC
  • Boehringer Ingelheim Pharmaceuticals, Inc.
  • Boston Community Capital, Inc.
  • Boston Consulting Group
  • The Boston Foundation
  • Boston Medical Center Corporation
  • Boston Scientific Corporation
  • Brady Mills LLC
  • BrandQuery LLC
  • Bristol-Myers Squibb Company
  • Broadcom Corporation
  • Brocade
  • Cablevision Systems Corporation
  • Capital One Financial Corporation
  • Captain Wendell’s Marine Services LLC
  • Cardinal Health, Inc.
  • Care Resource
  • CBS Corporation
  • CEB
  • Central Physical Therapy and Fitness, PSC
  • CGI
  • Charlotte Business Guild
  • The Chubb Corporation
  • CIGNA Corporation
  • Cisco Systems, Inc.
  • Citigroup Inc.
  • City Catering Company
  • City Lites Neon, Inc.
  • The City of Ann Arbor, Michigan
  • Civitas Public Affairs Group
  • Clean Yield Asset Management
  • CloudFlare, Inc.
  • CMIT Solutions of Seattle Downtown
  • The Coca-Cola Company
  • Cohen & Associates
  • Colgate-Palmolive Company
  • Columbia FunMap, Inc.
  • Comcast Corporation
  • The Computer Butler
  • ConAgra Foods, Inc.
  • The Corcoran Group
  • Corner Brewery, LLC
  • Corning Incorporated
  • Cox Enterprises, Inc.
  • Crazy Misfits Pet Services
  • Credit Suisse Securities (USA) LLC
  • Cummins Inc.
  • Cupcake Royale
  • CVS Health Corporation
  • Dallas Voice
  • Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, Inc.
  • Danaher Corporation
  • David J. Jarrett, P.C.
  • David Kosar Insurance Agency
  • David Mack Henderson Income Tax Preparation
  • DCI Group AZ, L.L.C.
  • Deloitte LLP
  • Delta Air Lines, Inc.
  • Depository Trust & Clearing Corporation
  • The Desert Business Association
  • Deutsche Bank AG
  • Diageo North America, Inc.
  • DIRECTV
  • DocuSign
  • Domini Social Investments LLC
  • The Dow Chemical Company
  • Dreamcatcher Arts and Publishing Ltd.
  • Dropbox, Inc.
  • DuPont
  • eBay Inc.
  • Edelman
  • Eldercare Consulting
  • Electronic Arts Inc.
  • EnduringHydro, LLC
  • Ernst & Young LLP
  • The Estée Lauder Companies Inc.
  • Event Rents
  • Everything Real Estate LLC
  • Express Movers Inc.
  • Facebook, Inc.
  • Farella Braun + Martel, LLP
  • Fastsigns
  • Fenwick & West LLP
  • First Data Corporation
  • 1st Security Bank
  • 1stdibs.Com, Inc.
  • FIT Technologies
  • Flanery CPA
  • Full Court Press Communications
  • G.A.W., Inc.
  • The Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce Nevada
  • General Electric Company
  • General Mills, Inc.
  • Gensler
  • Gilt Groupe Holdings, Inc.
  • GlaxoSmithKline LLC
  • Gleason & Associates Claims Services
  • Go Factory, Inc.
  • Goethel Engelhardt, PLLC
  • The Goldman Sachs Group, Inc.
  • Google Inc.
  • Goulston & Storrs, P.C.
  • Great Officiants LLC
  • The Greater Connecticut Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce
  • Greater San Diego Business Association
  • Greater Seattle Business Association
  • Greensulate
  • Grossman Marketing Group
  • Group Health Cooperative
  • Groupon
  • Growing Hope
  • Harrell Remodeling
  • The Hartford Financial Services Group, Inc.
  • Healthline
  • Hewlett-Packard Company
  • Hilton Worldwide Holdings Inc.
  • Holdredge Wines
  • Homeward Pet Adoption Center
  • Horizon Air Industries, Inc.
  • House Packard LLC
  • HSBC
  • Ikard Wynne LLP
  • The Independence Business Alliance
  • The Inland Northwest Business Alliance
  • Insala, Ltd
  • Inspirato, LLC
  • Integrated Archive Systems, Inc.
  • Integrity Law Group
  • Intel Corporation
  • Intuit Inc.
  • INUS Group, LLC
  • Jackson Hole Group LLC
  • Jagod Designs
  • Jazz Pharmaceuticals, Inc.
  • Jenn T. Grace International LLC
  • Jennifer Brown Consulting
  • JetBlue Airways Corporation
  • The Jim Henson Company
  • Johnson & Johnson
  • Johnston, Kinney and Zulaica LLP
  • Jonathan L. Bowman, Attorney at Law, PS
  • JPMorgan Chase & Co.
  • Julian Chang Consulting, Inc.
  • kapchur.us photography
  • The Kathy A. Janssen Foundation
  • Kazan, McClain, Satterley, & Greenwood, PLC
  • Keir Jones Agency – State Farm
  • Keker & Van Nest LLP
  • KEO Marketing Inc.
  • Kimberly-Clark Corp.
  • Kimpton Hotel & Restaurant Group, LLC
  • Kollmar Sheet Metal Works, Inc.
  • Kotzan Chiropractic
  • KPMG LLP
  • Lambda Business Association
  • Laparoscopic Institute for Gynecologic Oncology
  • Larson Marketing & Communications LLC
  • Laughton Properties
  • Law Offices of Joel L. Sogol
  • Law Office of Lisa E. Schuchman
  • Law Office of Lorie L. Burch, PC
  • Law Offices of Robin L. Bodiford, P.A.
  • The Law Office of Susan K. Fuller, PLLC
  • Levi Strauss & Co.
  • Liberty Burger
  • Lieff Cabraser Heimann & Bernstein, LLP
  • Life & Love Celebrations
  • Link in the Chain Foundation, Inc.
  • Littler Mendelson, P.C.
  • LNT, Inc.
  • The Long Beach Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce
  • Lori Karbal et al
  • Loring, Wolcott & Coolidge Trust, LLC
  • The Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce
  • Main Street Hair Shoppe Ltd.
  • Marriott International, Inc.
  • Marsh & McLennan Companies, Inc.
  • Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company
  • McGraw Hill Financial, Inc.
  • McKesson Corporation
  • McKinsey & Company, Inc.
  • Merca Property Management
  • The Miami-Dade Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce
  • Microsoft Corporation
  • The Mid-America Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce
  • Miller & Olson, LLP
  • Miller Shelton Group, LLC
  • MillerCoors LLC
  • Mintz, Levin, Cohn, Ferris, Glovsky and Popeo, P.C.
  • Mona Smith PLLC
  • Moody’s Corporation
  • Morgan Miller Plumbing
  • Morgan Stanley
  • MWW Public Relations
  • NAMI Dallas, Inc.
  • The Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce
  • The National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce
  • Nationwide Mutual Insurance Company
  • Neumann Capital Management, LLC
  • The New England Patriots
  • New Leaf Columbus
  • New York Life Insurance Company
  • Nifty Hoops, LLC
  • NIKE, Inc.
  • Nixon Peabody LLP
  • North Texas GLBT Chamber of Commerce
  • Northrop Grumman Corporation
  • OBOX Solutions
  • Office Depot, Inc.
  • The Ogilvy Group, Inc.
  • Ogletree, Deakins, Nash, Smoak & Stewart, P.C.
  • ONE Community Media, LLC
  • 1 Source Consulting Solutions
  • Oracle America, Inc.
  • Orbitz Worldwide, Inc.
  • Out & Equal Workplace Advocates
  • Outerwall Inc.
  • Pakmode Publications, LLC
  • d/b/a Pakmode Media + Marketing
  • Pandora Media, Inc.
  • PATH
  • Peabody & Arnold LLP
  • Pepper Hamilton LLP
  • PepsiCo
  • Pfizer Inc.
  • Pixelligent Technologies LLC
  • Plexus Education Foundation
  • Plexus LGBT and Allied Chamber of Commerce
  • Portland Area Business Association
  • PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP
  • PrideFest
  • The PrintingWorks
  • Pro-Tec Data, Inc.
  • Procter & Gamble
  • ProTrials Research, Inc.
  • Prudential Financial, Inc.
  • Puma Spring Vineyards
  • Qualcomm Incorporated
  • Quorum
  • RAFI Architecture and Design
  • Rainbow Chamber of Commerce Silicon Valley
  • Ralph’s Regal Weddings
  • Ray Holley Communications
  • RBC Capital Markets, LLC
  • Replacements, Ltd.
  • Restaurant Management Concepts
  • Reverberate! Marketing Communications, Inc.
  • Rising Tide Brewing Company
  • RJR Photography
  • Robert H Stutz Jr CPA
  • Rockwell Automation, Inc.
  • Rotella & Hernandez, LLC
  • The Sacramento Rainbow Chamber of Commerce
  • Sadek Bonahoom PLC
  • The San Francisco Chamber of Commerce
  • The San Francisco Giants
  • The Seattle Lesbian, LLC
  • Seattle Metropolitan Chamber of Commerce
  • Sempra Energy
  • Seyfarth Shaw LLP
  • Shingles Roofing LLC
  • Sidetrack, Inc.
  • Simon, Schindler & Sandberg LLP
  • Skellenger Bender, P.S.
  • Skyworks Solutions, Inc.
  • Sleeves Up Productions, LLC
  • Sōw
  • Spectra Law PS
  • Spry Vision, Inc.
  • St. Jude Medical, Inc.
  • Staples, Inc.
  • Starbucks Corporation
  • Starrtek LLC
  • State Street Corporation
  • Steven Graves Insurance Agency
  • Stonewall Behavioral Health
  • Stonewall Columbus
  • Stuffed Cakes, LLC
  • Sun Life Financial (U.S.) Services Company, Inc.
  • SunDaily
  • Support.com, Inc.
  • Sweet Dixie Kitchen
  • Symantec Corporation
  • Taber Food Services, Inc.
  • dba Hobee’s California Restaurants
  • The Tampa Bay Rays
  • Target Corporation
  • TD Bank, N.A.
  • TD Securities (USA) LLC
  • Tech Data Corporation
  • TestTracks
  • Thinking Cap Communications & Design
  • Third Point LLC
  • Thomson Reuters
  • Tiwary Entertainment Group LLC
  • TNT Promotions, LLC
  • TOCA Events, LLC
  • TravelOut, Inc.
  • Tutta Bella Neapolitan Pizzeria
  • Twitter, Inc.
  • 206 Inc.
  • UBS AG
  • The Ultimate Software Group, Inc.
  • United Air Lines, Inc.
  • United Therapeutics Corporation
  • Uptown Physicians Group
  • VCB Consulting & Accounting Services
  • Verizon Communications Inc.
  • Viacom Inc.
  • Visa Inc.
  • VitaPerk
  • VMware, Inc.
  • W. M. Martin Advertising
  • W.W. Grainger, Inc.
  • W/S Development Associates LLC
  • Walsh Wellness Center
  • The Walt Disney Company
  • Wasserman Media Group
  • Wells Fargo & Company
  • Whey Natural! USA LLC
  • Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce
  • Witeck Communications, Inc.
  • The Workplace Equality Index
  • Wyndham Worldwide Corporation
  • Xerox Corporation
  • Xfund
  • YES DESIGN GROUP
  • Ypsilanti Downtown Development Authority
  • Zausmer, Kaufman, August & Caldwell, P.C.
  • Zingerman’s Community of Businesses
  • ZoomSystems
  • Zynga Inc.

It’s a lot. And the story has garnered 255 comments. The top-rated comments are all about how they now have a list of 379 companies they will be boycotting, such as “Just Me” who wrote quite literally that: “I have a list of 379 companies I will be boycotting.” Others are perhaps more peripheral, just generally ranting about The Gays getting married.

But what’s funny about this is that you cannot possibly live in modern society and boycott all these companies.

Do you own a computer? Well, you cannot run Windows or Mac operating systems or even Chrome. I guess you’re stuck with Linux or Unix. And that’s ignoring the hardware. Obviously Apple is still out, but so is Intel (which makes most CPUs) and Hewlett-Packard. (Make sure your printer isn’t an HP!) Social networking is also out, for both Facebook and Twitter are on the list.

What about a smart phone? If it’s an iPhone, throw it away, you’re stuck with something like Samsung, but make sure it doesn’t have an Intel CPU.

Does your job use any sort of computer security? Chances are it’s Cicsco-based, so you have to stop working because Cisco is on the list. They also make much of the equipment that runs the internet.

Television? The biggest television providers are on the list, including Comcast and Direct TV.

What about air travel? Delta, United, American, Alaska Air, JetBlue … they’re on the list.

What about a credit card? Visa and American Express are both on the list, so you’re stuck with MasterCard, Discover, or some less recognized company, but be careful about the bank it’s through because Bank of America, JP Morgan Chase, Morgan Stanley are both on the list, as is even the Deutsche Bank.

If you’ve managed to convince yourself you can still use a computer and the internet, well, you won’t be able to use the largest internet stores: Amazon and eBay are both on the list.

Office supplies needed? Well, Office Depot, Staples, and Target are on the list.

You may even be forced to throw out some of your clothes, for companies like American Apparel and Levi are on the list.

So, that’s what you’re faced with if you want to be a bigot today and boycott all the companies that support allowing gays to be married. And I just barely touched the list, but I tried to think of things that most people do. In general, though, you’re screwed.

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